Thursday, December 30, 2004
i went for two interviews so far because i am currently unemployed on tuesdays to thursdays. the first one was with a music school. let's just say it didn't go too well, and i am thought to be too young. the second one was a retail assistant job with The Natural Source. the pay suxs, only $5 per hour. i really don't know, there's training for it also and because i am part-time, they will not pay me for the training. i went online to sign up with this music tuition agency and then i filled in the expected pay to be 30-40 dollars per hour. haha. but i say its negiotable. so i don't know whether i can get any private students because the agency still have not called me yet.
anyway, i havené been doing much nowadays. its the music school holidays now which means i don't have to go to work. i rather wait to get more students and get paid six times the rate then stand for hours at a shop which smells of soap and shampoo products combined. and yes, we have to wear some funny uniform.
lee needed you at 30.12.04
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
i'm back from camp. Anyway, happy blessed christmas(or rather belated) to everyone.
christmas eve and christmas was probably the most well spent. we started the day with carolling at uncle anthony's office. his office is at DSTA, and he's in charge of a section of 50 people, which means he has his own office and on his table were awards of him during his air force years. his office was so big and spacious and so nice...i envy it. the lunch following it was nothing short of great. we had crabs, pork ribs, sushi, ham and curry. i ate to my heart's content after a week of camp food. after that, we had a walk around the whole department. way too cool.
at night we had a christmas eve praise service. we presented a song item and i think we sang well. after that it was more carolling and it went on till the whole night. when we got back to church, spent the rest of the nite at the steps leading to the carpark, chatting with friends and looking up at the night sky. it was kind of nice even though much of the time we were talking rubbish. and we slept about 6 in the morning.
next day was bascially cleaning up, then at the late afternoon we headed down to alvin and aaron's house for carolling. and again everyone sang well, despite some of the songs being in chinese. the buffet dinner following that was good. had christmas cards or gifts from sharon, rachel, eugene, esther, rosellini. i gave some hand made cards too.
i'm still having the effects of after camp. tired and a bit of sore throat from all the singing.
lee needed you at 26.12.04
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Saturday, December 18, 2004
this is my last post till a week later because i'm leaving for my church youth camp soon. kind of excited, but well its just going to be kind of normal as compared to the previous years and one week away from home would be enough to make me homesick.
it often puzzles me why fate might be so unfair to me. my fate is twisted. i only get bad luck. if there is such a thing called fate even. well, i will never believe in fate from now on. maybe fate do exist, but it just doesn't work well for me. what is fate then?
i believe that every person i bumped into on the streets of singapore are no ordinary person. for example, if you bumped into a friend on the roads of orchard, i believe that fate might have a purpose in bringing the friend to you. but fate will never work in whatever happened. i would rather think of fate, bad fate as terror.
how do you reject a guy? say no? i hide in my studio instead. it was boring as the studio had no one else to talk to, except myself. but i was running away from something. i really don't know how to put into nice terms: i don't want to talk to you. i never did. pretense isn't easy. one day you will just have enough of it, and think how can you survive the next few months.
maybe you think i'm mean. but in the first place, i think my fate has been mean to me. i haven't got anything to talk about, and i certainly don't blame fate itself. but i rather do without it.
lee needed you at 18.12.04
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
i have just realised that there's so much to know about a person. imagine people whom you thought you knew very well, but u realise that there are some facts or stories that you do not know. the thing is there's so much to learn about a person. and people do change, i guess everyone does. it just kind of hit you right in the face that you were not that close a friend actually. i have many friends, but only a few whom i can say are really my true close friends.
i had a very interesting call from this guy whom i knew since secondary one. the very fact that he's been bugging me since then irritates me. actually i kind of expected it, he asked me out on a particular day. and he said that day was special, asking me to guess what day it was. to cut a long story short, he blurted out it was his birthday. anyway being really mean i went like, so what if its your birthday, did you remember my bithday? he said something like it was during the prelim period and stuff. the very fact that he asked me out on his birthday was because he wanted a present from me. and when its my birthday, there was no call saying happy birthday to me, much less a present.
i want to highlight this: guys are pathetic. no offense to those remaining good guys out there.
orientiation has never been something i ever looked forward to, but at the end of the whole orientiation i will look back at it and think i enjoyed it. anyway, teacher's orientiation wasn't that good. it was dead boring. not much about the people, but the instructors that were assigned to them. they ended up speaking chinese cos one was from china or something. super weird accent.
lee needed you at 16.12.04
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Sunday, December 12, 2004
this whole week was GREAT. i slack a lot though, and i don't know what i did, but i just ate and sleep. doesn't seem very productive.
helped out as a shephard in the vbs, vacation bible school held in my church. i was one of the people who were in charge of a group of kids. my group consist of people from age 5-7. small but really cute. on the first day, they were very quiet and i think they were shy. drama started to unfold as one of the kids kept crying, with a stomachache and kept wailing and say he wanted to go home. sigh, then i had to get one of the aunties to help. after that, he was more or less better but on the next day, he didn't turn up(a blessing in disguise). anyway, it was real fun.
after that, rushed down to sooty's house to give him this card that i made using seashells collected from my trip to the malaysian beaches, and chocalates and cookies that my parents bought back from Jordan. the first batch of guys are going to the army. i thought i should at least do something for him as he was rather sweet to me when i broke down and cried last time after music As. stayed back to talk to him for a while and tried to cheer him up. do cheer up.
then on friday, i went down to orchard with pat,jun and qian. i went to DYE MY HAIR. pat introduced this shop to me at wheelock place, near the nydc. it is called colour house. i spent about $175(inclusive of a 30% discount for students) there dying and highlighting my hair. for those who want to dye your hair, i think colour house is quite good. it sure is expensive(perhaps my hair is long though), but service is not bad. at least its better than hairdressing salons like Reds, Kimage and Jean Hip whose service are not half as good but twice as expensive. anyway, my hair didn't turn out to be what i wanted. i actually wanted a darker shade, but nevermind i am still okie with it. next time though, i am going to make my highlights much more obvious.
took a cab ride with pat to ossia music school to teach. found out that there was actually no need to take a cab as i was pretty early. so i ended up chatting with the staff there. there was this guy at the counter that was real friendly. found out he lives near my place and he offered to walk me home when i have to teach till late at night next year. the thing was, i don't know whether it was fate but the next night, as i was taking the bus from bukit batok interchange to my house, i met him again and he was also taking the same bus.
went for a church wedding with my family the next day, which was sat. it was simple, sweet and the bride looked quite pretty. there was a buffet reception after that. i think church weedings are really meaningful. and its kind of nice too, except i just realise that you are not supposed to kiss the bride.
anyway, i'm are set to brace the next week. its going to be a really slack week. the only thing that i have got on next week is the Teacher's orientiation. hopefully, í'll make new friends there. while others are out at work busying making money, i'm at home or i don't know where, killing time as i have too much to spend. on some thought, maybe i should take up some courses, but the thing is what courses are there for me to take. i don't want to use my brains.
lee needed you at 12.12.04
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004
i don't know why. perhaps i am just feeling this sudden drops of love-sickness. goodness, maybe i'm just too bored now.
he left when i just came back to Singapore and silly me forgot to wish him a safe trip and a good time over there. i totally forgot about it. i don't even have guts to tell him i failed my exam, because i think i will lose my own face. i don't even dare to ask him anything, so what's wrong with me? and why does all this feelings return again? the reason behind it must be because i'm too bored. true, i slack all day long. i need something to occupy me. urgently.
on sunday, i went to the airport to fetch my parents back. they were gone for almost 2 weeks and i missed them terribly. but the previous night, i sweated a lot putting the whole house in place! goodness, the mess created my me was horrible i should say. took about 3 whole hours tidying everything up so that it looks more presentable. anyway, i missed my mommy and daddy so much. i thought my mom would cry when she saw me waiting at the arrival hall at the airport for them. but she did not. she went on talking about the trip. good thing too, because i was wondering if she really cried, then that would be quite embarrassing. anyway. its great that they are back. they bought lots of cookies back home, and they are super delicious i tell you.
singapore is so boring. there''s nothing to do. i want to go to UK. i tell you when will i be there: year 2006. no matter what.
lee needed you at 7.12.04
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Friday, December 03, 2004
that's it. i've signed a one yr contract with cms.
i went to teach them today. my first lesson was with a five year old boy with some funny name. i went like,"hi, i'm miss Lee" goodness, it sounded weird even on my ears. anyway, the first lesson was really freaky. the guy just started learning, which is today. the thing was during the whole course of his lesson, his mummy came peeping into the studio. after the lesson, i had to give a whole full report to his mummy, which complained that i gave too less new songs and too less theory homework. goodness. i had no comments at all to say. typical parents i thought. anyway, when i first met her, i thought she look very familar, and was trying to crack my brains on who she was. that was then i realised he was my brother's primary school teacher. then i asked her whether it was true. her eyes opened wide in surprise and say yes! haha. what a small world indeed.
and an interesting first lesson.
the people are really nice, but then they all speak in chinese. and the other teachers are really nice too. suddenly, one year doesn't seem to be that long.
lee needed you at 3.12.04
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Wednesday, December 01, 2004
dear all, i'm back. if you have not realised.
the trip was good. i kind of got homesick(dun asked me why) during my trip there. i badly wanted to come home. i didn't know why too. but the trip was good. at present, i came home to a place with four walls. that's my home. my parents are somewhere far away. and though it may sound suprising to many, i do miss them. the whole house is screwed just because i am often too lazy to tidy it. and needless to say, my room is even worse.
i came home a little sick. had this weird stomache pain, took a pill and went to sleep till my friend called me to go out with them. i watched the POLAR EXPRESS. and it was a damn good show! dinner at marshe saw me eating a whole load of food, as i ate a lot in malaysia and i haven't got out of the 'pig'style. the best thing was malaysia had A & W there. oh man, i do miss A & W since it closed all its outlets in singapore. the root beer float and the waffle. can imagine me eating a lot of food already.
yeaterday was really busy. i had this interview at cristofori music school. well, i don't know right now whether i want to take up this job offer. oh by the way, the interview was great. i was scared till my hands were so cold but i think it went fine. i told the person say she will give me one week to think about it. if i accept, they will have to plan my schedule and everything and i'll probably start work end of december. sounds cool huh, a piano teacher. but that's where it all ends. the pay suxs, they are only paying me half of all my students total fees. and cristofori school fees are rather cheap and i'll be only teaching kids from grade 1-6. i don't even know where the other half is going to. and there will be a one year contract and if i do not abide by that contract, i will have to pay them a lot of money. bother. so now i am having second thoughts.
i'll probably seek out other music centres, go for their interview and what's not, and compare their pay and benefits etc.
i got a rather bad surprise when i cam back. went down all the way to vch office to collect my dip. piano results and it was quite expected i guess, i failed. after all the stories of what i have heard, that only 20% make it, and that they mark really strict, and that it is not easy at all. i do believe them now. the whole bloody exam took about 500 dollars from me(or rather my dad) and the end result was that i failed. oh bother, but i will retake it again.
come to think of it, now i really don't want to work. i rather study.
lee needed you at 1.12.04
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