Sunday, April 30, 2006
2 more days to go(:
i hate it when things don't do my way. why isn't the world a fair one? i really really can't understand. whatever, dont teach me how to fall in love, teach me how to fall out of love. teach me how to let go. teach me how to forget. its amazing how the human mind works. you might get so blocked down by something, that anything around you doesnt matter anymore.
nevermind about that. the recital exam matters to me now. i want to do well, more like i have to. but i dont think i can.
just when everything doesnt seem to be going right, just when things you least expect happen, and just when you feel really down. you sit in the corner of your bed, and decide to let it all out. how weak does that sounds.
lee needed you at 30.4.06
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Thursday, April 27, 2006
ok the past few days were madness. and i'm now desperately having the urge for shopping! putting that aside, the past two exams were pretty alright. although i know i havent really done my best for today and that i could have done more, i must congrat myself for reaching this stage.
and i really really think there's somtething wrong with the cab hotlines in singapore. why isn't any of them picking up by call when i desperately need one?
i need to practice, practice and practice. because practice makes perfect. and where is a miracle when i need one too?
you know i'm serious. its more than the feelings. its everything behind it. i don't know where things are going at this time of point. i seriously don't bother because my mind is too boiled down with exams. but my mind sometimes divert there. to you.
if only. i would wish for so many things. i'll try, but you can't help it but not try, because something's stopping you from doing so.
lee needed you at 27.4.06
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Saturday, April 22, 2006
i'm not in a good mood.
i hate to be compared to other people. i hate it when things are nowhere near perfect. i hate it when i cant seem to get anything right. i hate it when everything seems like its just floating around, no really there and don't think it will be alright.
and i'm scared of making mistakes.
and the thing is, i think i've made enough of them.
stressed. stressed. stressed.
kill the no life me. its 10 plus at night, and i'm here about to start work on a saturday night. and then the other night, a friend just msn me online: feli, its a wed nightttt!! shit. i miss mambo.
lee needed you at 22.4.06
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Wednesday, April 19, 2006
i have been spending ungodly hours in school, in front of the computer, and in front of the tv.
no not the piano.shit.i need a B.
or my teacher doesnt want to teach me anymore.
and that's so stressing me up because i think i'm nowhere near that, unless of course a miracle happens. or the examiners are deaf. or the steinway grand piano decides to play by itself perfectly.
nevermind. two more weeks and i'll be a free-bird!
lee needed you at 19.4.06
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Sunday, April 16, 2006
i like places with good service. good service with a SMILE. it really makes a difference. anyway i spend like 5 hours in the hair salon, doing my hair. but overall, i'm quite pleased with the results. yeah, after the bomb i spent on it.
i watched pay it forward for like the million time last night, and it never fail to evoke feelings in me. and can you believe it, but i cried at the last part when the boy died. and there's school tomorrow, like how boring can it be. but on the bright side, its the last week of school. and i dont think i can ever wake up tomorrow in time, because judging from the way my sleeping time is screwed during the supposedly few days of holidays, most probably when i wake up, ehh it will be around lunch time?
and i want, i want a sharp nose. i like guys with sharp noses too, i think they look really cute. and i have been saying for so so long that i want to get contacts but i havent get down to doing it yet.
and i think i always say the wrong things at the wrong time, can i pls just unwind time.
lee needed you at 16.4.06
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Thursday, April 13, 2006
wow. its been really long since i last blog. the reason being my computer crashed, or in other words, refuse to start/ shuts down by itself after a while. so i'm here blogging on my dad's notebook, and sitting on a very uncomfortable chair.
anyways, i'm supposed to be on a two-day study break now, but it seems more like a sleeping break really. i seriously slept the whole day. my idea of using these two days to catch up on my much-needed practice and the idea of hitting the jogging track every day is down the drain. and if you still cant get the idea, getting my butt off bed is a really tough job. but nevertheless, sometimes sleeping is a good way of unwinding, isn't it?
what i really need now is. motivation. much stuff to do and get complete, exams are coming very soon. all the good lucks are seriously not going to work. so keep it and forget about the whole thing. ok and if it sounds like a very depressing statement, dont wish me good luck, wish me a miracle.
despite all the stress, and what's nots. i still had a good week. alright not really stress but more like pressure. someone once told me to keep an open mind but i can't. sometimes you need to face reality too you know. and the funniest thing is i went to watch a violin concert sitting right at the front row at esplanade concert hall. like the really front row. can't see a thing, only some string players and the conductor's butt but otherwise the sound was very good. and i'm now so into rach piano concerto 3 i'm going to fall in love with the person who plays it for me right before my eyes.
and talking about love. love is a complicated thing. i didn't belive in it, but now i'm actually starting to. but i'm not spending time thinking about it because like i've told the whole world, it doesn't work for me.
i dont't get it. you spend the whole time looking for this thing called love. and then you might lose it or it might just disappear. so what's the use. you will never get it in the end. but no matter what, i'm going to take a risk.
alright. have a good friday and a happy easter sunday everyone!
lee needed you at 13.4.06
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Sunday, April 02, 2006
a quite amusing incident.
i treated a close guy friend of mine at this posh jap restaurant in town. and when we were about to leave, i called the waiter for the bill. i had the full intention of treating my guy-friend and had already informed him beforehand. but naturally, without hesitation, the waiteress showed the bill to my guy-friend. he looked at me first, then at the waiteress. and the waitress from looking at him to me, back and forth with the really puzzled look. i took out my wallet, BUT she still showed the bill to my guy friend. and then suddenly, the waitress seem to just realise that i was the one who was going to foot the bill and finally showed the bill to me. and still with that puzzled look. i explained it all with one sentence, his birthday. and then her face changed immediately, and her mouth went ooooooo.
oh wells. isnt that the priviledge of being a girl. you get treated to nice dinners, you get flowers from guys who fancy you. and all the small tiny actions, like not having to bother opening doors, because the doors would be opened and hold by the guys. and being the first to walk through that narrow cinema seats pathway to get to your seat. being the first to enter a shop. being the one who gets the food serve to your plate by the guy. and getting free entrance on ladies night. getting your bags carried while on a full-blast shopping trip. and being sent home by that guy of yours, even if you are not on a date.
these are just a few of the many things. oh yes, i love being a girl. its because i'm a girl that i get my own room, space and much privacy at home. and the excuse to spend half an hour or more in the bathroom. there's just this special feeling that no one can steal from you.
anyways. watch ice age 2 if you havent. super super funny movie. i laughed at practically everything in the movie. and you bet i'm going to catch it again.
lee needed you at 2.4.06
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