Thursday, May 25, 2006
10 things that makes me happy:
1. hearing zukerman at the gala concert last night. it was good! it makes me just want to take up the violin and play ehh rubbish? his playing was highly imaginative, putting Bach in a totally different new light. and fort he first time i enjoyed hearing Bach.
2. a message and a call in the early morning. just a simple good morning message and the ever-so-sexy voice on the phone.
3. shopping, lunch and coffee breaks with my darling. i ended buying a lot of things, and finally found something nice for him.
4. the crazy mambo night. zouk was awesome yesterday! and my dance partner was really good and nice. crazy. madness. the fun, laughter and glamour.
5. night cycling. i love it. and i wish i had more time to do it more often. we cycled almost everywhere, zooming past here and there, stopping once for a break cum supper. then back again with half-drained energy.
6. waking up in the morning without rushing to school. and the sad thing is, i can only enjoy it for one week more.
7. the beer we had at brewerkz. getting high over that. and kutu's proclamination of 'i love you!'.
8. being piggy-bagged at the back of the bicycle. and singing mambo songs at the back. up and down the slope. and all the while i was on the back of the bicycle. talk about going back to the olden ways of dating. haha!
9. Liszt etudes. they are so beautiful. i want to learn them. virtousic but yet it isnt empty virtousity right. he must be genius enough to write stuff that are so killer to pianist but yet so painfully nice.
10. the great singapore sales. i need someone to carry my shopping bags please? all the nice dinners. good food makes me happy.
oh wells. first year jury results were disappointing. i dont want to talk about it. i didnt play well that day and it was kind of expected. but you know when reality hits you, its different. you wish all the time for some sort of miracle to happen and in the end you dont get it, you're beyond upset. and later on, you just return back to the numbness feeling you once had.
and its the same feeling as rejection. why bother. why bother when people whom you highly esteem dont really care about you. you cant feel the concern. why waste your youth such things that doesnt really matter. it matters but youth is all about seeking fun, putting aside things that will never go right and enjoying things that are precious to you.
lee needed you at 25.5.06
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Sunday, May 21, 2006
the trip to malaysia, though short was good and certainly memorable. it was the company, food, and shopping that made it rather memorable. i dont know why but i did spend quite a lot on shopping though i think malaysis isnt exactly a shopping paradise. most of it went to food though, the best was that seafood restaurant where apparantly i ate as if i havent had anything for 3 days. cheap, excellent and good food. yumyum. i watched poseidon there too. the cinemas were surprisingly good. and it was a really fun time walking around, and trying on things and then buying snacks and eat eat eat.
i rushed back in time to give my bestie a surprise. she was taking part in a beach modelling contest that night. and prior to that, i had already planned to give her a surprise. it worked! she was damn touched and almost cried. haha and i so do love her. and she was soso pretty then. i cant put up the pictures here till i get them myself. afterwards we went off for supper, and after which the party began. we did some serious club-hopping. was pretty much at momo, then decided to get out of there, and we landed ourselves at mos. we couldnt take the damn music there and after an hour, we decided to head down to butter factory to check it out. it was full house, but we ended the night really welll at siam. the music was not bad and they did play some mambo songs, getting us all high up and stuff. but really, super fun night out. so funny, the way we got so high and then we did all the silly things, utter quite rubbish stuff and got a few more rounds of drinks. it was awesome and certainly did much more than destressing and unwinding me.
anyway, i really really want to get started on the piano. it has been 3 weeks since i last touched it. but i've got such a packed schedule that i kept telling myself to put it off till a bit later. and i think waiting for results is even more nerve-wreking than taking the exam itself, because you cant do much. all you can do seriously is just sit and wait. wait for the sky to drop. wait for the emails, or letters or notice.
and then something spoke to me today in church. something strucked me. i'm so glad that i could at least made it today, if not i'll just miss out on a lot.
alright i so looking foward to next week. its the last week of the holidays so better enjoy to the fullest. there so much to look forward to- the gym sessions, cycling, shopping, trying more food, and the sentosa trip. see days without exams are so wonderful to be true yah!
lee needed you at 21.5.06
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Sunday, May 14, 2006
sometimes you are stucked, and you cant seem to make seemingly right decisions. you ponder over it, nothing still seems right. and so you are still stucked at square one.
i have been eating a lot of good food lately. but today i was so sick with restaurants and all the funny kinds of buffets or set meals, we just went to a hawker and ate. and it was great! the food, which added up to be a lot, was inexpensive and company was great too. we should really really have more of such times together. and if plans do work out fine, i'll be in malaysia one of the days next week eating away like crazy again.
oh dear, now i feel so bloated. i really shouldnt have ate so much, but what to do. the food was excellent. and i finally like went to get contact lenses. yay! and i know its sinful to shop and shop and shop, but that's for not going overseas this holidays. and i want to party more, i need to before the next semester comes rolling by and that's it. i have to be hardworking next semester for the benefit of my own. that's because i dont want to disappoint myself anymore.
my mum says that when i'm going out with a good guy-friend, i'm dating him or he's dating me. when he gives me flowers, he's thinking of marrying me. and she keeps on asking me why dont i have a boyfriend, like everyone else has in my age. she does irritates the hell out of me with all so rubbish and old-fashioned statements. but nevertheless, happy mother's day(: she's still pretty much the same, pretty as before. love her to pieces. thank you- for all those lovely talks we manage to have. the times we had so long ago together without dad most of the time in uk. for all the really good memories. for your smile, assurance and encouragement in me. for everything really.
and i really cant let mother's day slip away just like that. just like how i cant let a good friend's birthday slip away without doing anything.
tomorrow- invasion of the gym! and of course with the invasion of more good food in town.
lee needed you at 14.5.06
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Thursday, May 11, 2006
i would never wear heels to club anymore. last night i wore a pair of killer heels and now both my feets are spouting blisters and its hurts. but other than that, it was a really fun night out with the girls. i love everyone of you to pieces(: And for once, i'm proud that i'm a person who can hold my liquour, if not i cannot imagine what would have happened. not that very well, but that least i was still quite sane.
i'm having so much fun so far for the holidays. well, considering that we only have about a month holiday, why not play to the fullest? all the shoppings, dinners, partying and what's nots. i still want to do so much things that i've got to schedule my plans again. but i promised myself that i can't ignore the piano altogether, though how much i would like to for a while. its just the pressure, and the notion of not committing the same mistakes over and over again that gets you thinking, and of course into action.
i'm still thinking about that long quiet walk in the park that we had. and the talks we had then. i'm sorry for being so ignorant about everything, for just shutting everything else out of my small little world. for just not considering your feelings at all. the human mind works in funny ways isn't it? at one time you may seem to own everything, then at the next moment you seem to loss the most important things beside you.
lee needed you at 11.5.06
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Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Exhausted. during exams, exhausted. after exams, still the same.
i have no idea why i'm up at 9 plus in the morning, only reason being i'm suppose to look after a very important mission that is going on in my house right now- the tuning of my lousy yamaha piano. and i will give anything on earth to be able to be on my bed sleeping now. and the reason why i'm typing here is because, anything else and i would fall asleep.
and of all places, i went to fort canning park last night. its a really spooky and freaky place at night. ok romantic, but what's the point. whole time i saw a black cat walking around, and the whole time i was scared that the black cat would come near us. and we saw some old man walking around, like alone in fort canning park. really really freaky. and then the walk around the park on a humid night wasn't that good thing either.
and i just realised that i've been in town almost practically every day after my exams ended, which was last wednesday. today i'll be in town again, and so would i tomorrow. its insane, but everytime i'm in town i'm doing something different. and that's why i'm not really bored of that place, well not yet. but really singapore is a damn boring place. i'm going to conquer the east part of singapore next week.
lee needed you at 9.5.06
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Alright. my year one offically ended at approximately 1240pm with a quite bad recital exam. but i dont want to go into it anymore because its over. i'm now looking forward to the sleepover at my place later tonight and i'm going to party all night like crazy tonight. yipee! i can't wait. see, people do get mad after all the overdoese of stress.
and right now, i'm not going to think about any of my rather disastrous papers or the recital exam itself, till of course the results are out. and of course, i can finally sleep in peace tonight. uts just like how we always plan a lot of things to do after the holidays and always almost don't really do it, but now i'll make sure i'll get it done.
come on holidays, bye to school.
lee needed you at 3.5.06
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Monday, May 01, 2006
thank you. i never realise how these two words can change my day, and brighten up my somewhat somber mood. i'm so glad that i'm being thank for, because it just lets you know that you are being appreciated and much thought of.
alright. i'm getting emotional. i decide to spend what's left of my labour day holiday spring-cleaning the room. i found something in my drawer, something long forgotton and something which holds quite painful memories. but i'm glad of these memories, they keep me going. i dare say i have lots of nice memories but i treasure all of them because bad or good, they are part ofou.
i'm ready to tackle the world (ok, quite). i'll just imagine a barrier or wall or whatever in that dry room. i'll use my arms to create more sound and shock them.
thank you. for listening to me, putting some sense into me and telling me its not the end.
lee needed you at 1.5.06
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