Wednesday, June 28, 2006
haha. just a normal crazy night. miss you girls already!ok i'm now taking a break from work. its now 1.12am on a tuesday night. i had dinner at this place in bugis street which was absolutely delicious. and of course, the company and talk was good too.
i know late nights are bad but what to do. i'm so behind work, i desperately need to catch up. well actually i have no idea what is going on in school. except that school is a dread and its boring. but what to do, its part of life. we all got to face it somehow. and i cancelled piano lesson today, something which i wouldnt ever ever do, but i really didnt prepare enough and i'm just not so up to the standard.
i dont know is it me, or is it the things i do? i love making decisions myself, no restrictions with total freedom. i dont like it when people bagged their way in and thrash out stuff that i'm supposed to follow. and then if that's the case, i dont know why must i have a brain, inclusive of my own mind. i can handle stuff well myself. everything, there's no need for anyone to advice me what to do.
well. this goes out to my supposedly two very important people in my life. they brought me up. gave me a damn good childhood that i'll never forget. but now that i'm big and all grown-up, i want to make decisions on my own. need to, because i want to learn, i want to experience those small little things that people my age dont get to.
humid weather makes me crappy.
lee needed you at 28.6.06
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Sunday, June 25, 2006
yesterday night was probably the best night i could ever have had. i went over to his place there and waited for him, after work and everything else. he came, gave me a smile so sweet, took my bag and we went off. had a really really simple dinner, shop around for his white shirts and my next morning's breakfast. that aside, we went to buy some chips and beers and off to the park near my place. supposedly haunted but we didnt see anything at midnight. it was really really nice- nice spot, nice chat, nice walks, nice listening to the night sounds, nice place to chill. of course it doesnt beat the excitement of clubbing or hanging around with crazy people at crzay places watching soccer matches. but it was just so nice, both of us alone and having all the time and peace to ourselves.
i seriously dont mind not partying. i want more nights like that. with him alone.
ok so subsequently, i got tired and i fell asleep. sort of in and out of sleep. i love his big arms around my shoulders, his hands on my hair and ohh our game of catching. you can never believe it, at past midnight we were playing catching (with me screaming and laughing out loud) and irritating all those lovey dovey couples there. just so nice and sweet.
and i'm just jotting this down here, so that in the near future, i'll look back and think of those good memories.
damn. believe it if you please. but for the first time, i'm considering giving up singlehood. maybe. just maybe.
lee needed you at 25.6.06
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Friday, June 23, 2006
i realised how girls have extra-sensitive emotions plus extra unpredictable mood swings that guys in general detest about us. but oh come on, we have so much many many other girly things that they absolutely love too. dont they? anyway i don't see ignorance as a solution to any problems. and then it turned out fine and well.
i had an absolutely fun and crazy night on wed. oh gosh, the soccer match. i yelled out goal goal like so loudly like at no one's business. and i saw this girl wearing the same polka tube top as me. what the hell, copy cat man! the other time i was in zouk, i saw someone with that same top, and now again. slacking at the balcony, watching portugal vs mexico which was a good match, while poor mx alias nadia got to scum her ass all over orchard for her own birthday cakes! but i'm glad everything turned out so well, so splendid and the cakes were delicious. oh and i had like four bottles of beer, i know i'm hopeless. and later i still had a jug of volka. but proud to say, no hangover the next day. and the birthday song was so out-of-tune can! but then again, it was a blast. and that night, i met so many people in zouk. long lost friends, everything and everyone else.
now i'm about to head out for a double-date. after a 12-hour sleep, i'm quite alive again!
lee needed you at 23.6.06
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Saturday, June 17, 2006
it isn't impossible to miss someone like crazy, to wish that you have him by your side. its not crazy. i so wish to hear from him again that its driving me up the wall. i dont understand how couples can not communicate. look, we are not even a couple just yet, but there's just this urge to sms or give him a ring, especailly after a quite terrible quarrel that havent been solved since.
its the weekend again. and i realised that its so hard to practice decently during the weekends. everyone dying for my attention to go out. seriously all along i have been thinking that weekends are all fun and play but no work. but with the football season here and everything, i'll rather entertain myself at a friend's place or at the pub with soccer and a few beers. dump the movies and shoppings aside.
and then again. i dont think singapore has much competition. i lack motivation whenever i don't get competition. singapore is just too laid-back, and not that open yet. look i just went to the esplanade library and saw a couple of year ones with books and cds almost covering their face. not kidding and feli just basically went there to check out the chocolates at the store below the library. and met a dear classmate on the way while venturing on the piano cds. its just too exam-orietated, you only study what's in the books. you only want to know what's needed to know. everything's judge on your exam results.
ok my parents are back, there goes the peace in my house. seriously if i ever got the chance, i would give everything to leave alone. there's something about owning the place and the peace that can't be explained. and now they are fasting on dinner because they claim they just had lunch at a superb restaurant there. i did probably miss out on a lot for this year's church camp, but i think this week was quite memorable for me too.
now. practice. practice. practice. and i'll reward myself later.
lee needed you at 17.6.06
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Thursday, June 15, 2006
i shouldnt have gotton so piss drunk last night. over a guy. it spolit everything. but i'm glad for friends who lend me a listening ear, carried my weight and put up with my constant rubbish.
how to get out of this cold war? well beats me. much as i hate it, i dont want it to end. because i dont know what to do anymore. time to face the music, and heck everything else including the consequences.it isnt going to work anymore. because whatever, my life is a hell of a mess now.
this week is going to end. which means my parents will be coming back soon. whee i miss them. i dont mind living alone actually but i'll just need a housemaid.
lee needed you at 15.6.06
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Tuesday, June 13, 2006
í've met him.
i'm home alone now. much as i hate to say this, but i miss them all. my dad just called, so sweet of him and he couldnt talk much longer, nor could i. and i've just tried experimenting again and cooked- potato salad and pasta. and made strawberry chocolate-coated desserts. of course, i always the only one eating it alone. and tomorrow my besties are coming over, and them it'll be a crazy night after that.
i probably had the worst quarrel last night. i chase him out of my house, before i flung my books across the room and shouted at him. i felt really bad. and he felt bad too. i hate quarrelling. i really do. but i just cant help it.
guys just suck. damnit.
oh and i went grocery shopping and now i'm off to tidy up my place a little bit. yes at 11 plus in the middle of the night.
lee needed you at 13.6.06
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Monday, June 05, 2006
school started today. and i didnt make it for my 9am enthomusicology lesson, simply because i couldnt wake up. and what the hell is that? someone enlighten me please. and i landed in school at 2pm for some talk and later stayed on for piano performance class. basically we got to see the new pianists and none for them are pure blooded singaporeans. well call me pessimistic if you must, but their standard probably out stands mine in terms of everything. now now i better get to work and slave off hours at the piano.
i was just sort of telling my mum over dinner just now and promising her that i'm a girl who plays hard and work hard. now that the holidays are history, i'll better get out my pens, books and scores and start doing something. being behind track is something which i dont want to land myself up again. and this time i still want to have fun like i did during the holidays (probably a little lesser), but i'll plan my time really well. such that when everyone is chonging for their work or studying for an exam, i'll be done with all those and having a good time outside. and oh talking about school, i finally got my results just yesterday and though i'm not very pleased with it, i'm quite glad i managed an A for moa. it meant something to me.
i'm already missing the holidays. but things has to go on isnt it. school isnt fun at all. really really. and i miss everyone. and everyone is like everywhere, all over the world. i want them back here!
lee needed you at 5.6.06
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Sunday, June 04, 2006
dinner at hot stones, chilling at hooters then clubbing at double 0. perhaps the most happening and nicest weekend i ever had. away from all the stupid stress from work, nice time to unwind, and just have a jolly good time. i want more weekends like that but i cant, i'm always having such a hectic schedule. and i managed to put away all the work and go out in peace. until a phone call woke me up from my nap in the evening. and then i couldnt continue sleeping anymore.
and i had the most interesting conversation with a lady who teaches in the studio beside me. the thing is till now, i still dont know her name! but really, the conversation was most inspiring, and motivating. really. it got me thinking about whatever i'm doing. true, i love teaching kids. and i think i want to make it my full-time career next time. its just something really rewarding at the end of a long tiring day or even after a lousy lesson. but the conversation did hit me. it makes me realise something else.
alright. school's starting tomorrow. till now, i'm still trying to figure out the damn timetable. seems like year 2 is a super hectic year just by looking at the timetable. to my dear good uni friends who are still having holidays and can have the best of times, well dont remind me. i say again dont. haha. i'm going to try to be a nerd cum bookworm from next week onwards. i need to live up to people's expectations no matter how i hate them and cant seem to make them happy.
but well, that's life isnt it?
lee needed you at 4.6.06
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Thursday, June 01, 2006
i'm hearing mendelssohn violin concerto now. its totally beautiful. esp since the violinist is zukerman haha.
anyway to slave of the last of my remaining holidays, i have been practically up and about. on mon, i got driven around, half-lost though to supper and desserts later. after a very enlightening evening jog. calories lost, calories gain. total calories lost equals to 0. i'm hopeless at directions. getting lost from bukit timah to holland, because we took the wrong turn and ended somewhere near my school. luckily traffic wasnt exactly a killer. then we had this class bbq thingy at sentonsa on the following day. i decided to go anyways, since there's food. it turned out to be a not-too-bad, not-so-good bbq but quite fun nevertheless. i mean you must try to have as much fun as possible all the time right. so even taking pictures are fun anyhows. the food was not bad, stingrays were good though! after that headed to my darling's house. slept over. had beer, and started talking to her lamb chops. talked, watch tv, and somehow fell asleep. and the next morning we went for a swim cum tanning session by her pool.
and just yesterday he came over to my place to borrow my book for his moa assignment, and did a bit too while i changed got ready and we headed out. first stop was esplanade library to borrow his stuff, and i couldnt find it within my 2 mins expections. anyway later we headed to a jap restaurant for dinner, he paid and i couldnt let him treat me. man's policy vs feli's policy. quite interesting though. but after walking around window shopping around, we landed ourselves for some wonderful icecreams. on my bill much to the amusement for the waiter. for the waiter to show the bill to a guy, and the girl to place her mastercard there. haha.
well i definitely didnt have too much a great time though. things happen, sudeenly. without you knowing. its like all of a sudden, you are forced to think. and truth to be said, you hate thinking about it, dont want to think about it because you know what's at the end of that road. its just like forcing yourself to think about reality while all the while, you have been still pretty much asleep in your own world of fanasty.
lee needed you at 1.6.06
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